emotional dustbin

Ever wonder why my background is always white, as white as snow, as white as the clouds? I also asked myself the same question, but I do not know......I suppose I want it to remain white is because, it is such an easy colour, so plain, so relaxed, so calm, so innocent, it looks like the colour white does not have any worries, to dirty its surface.
I wish my state of mind would be white, or more logical, 'blank' for the time being, why do I have so many worries, so many thoughts, so many questions, so much stress, so much pressure on my shoulder? I feel polluted. Do you?
My Extended Essay is progressing very slowly, and I am in deep trouble....
My Economics commentary is not perfect, and I am in deep trouble.......
My IOP presentation for English could have been better, and I am disappointed in myself, S and T did such a good job, but I suppose, they are pairing up with someone else then me for the last presentation, and I am in deep trouble.....
My opening speech is going to take place on Sat. morning, and I havnt written it, and I am in deep trouble.....
My TOEFL test will be on the 22nd, 2 weeks from now, what do I need to know, and I am in deep trouble.....
What else do I need to worry about? Not that I want to forget about it, its just tooo much to remember..... what about my other subjects in IB? History? Math? Biology? Chinese? and what am I going to do about TOK? now, I really start to doubt if I can pass and get a diploma....what am I going to do about university?

people have told me the picture I posted on fb looks sad, i somehow agree, but more 'tired' than 'sad' I just want to know when this will all come to an end? When will I be free? When can I let go? I obviously cant let go now, everything I have done so far would crash down on me so hard, I wont have the ability to get up again.......

all these thoughts occupy me day and night, or should I say, haunt me every minute. When I see others who have achieved what I could have but has not, I am so disappointed. I question my self, why cant I do it? Why didnt I do it?
When I see others who have done things which I, myself expected to finish, left there undone, I feel ashamed...
then I arrive to the question that I frequently asked: Am I really suitable to do IB? Does age really matter? Cant being hard-working prove to be helpful?

These are only academical matters....what about matters in other areas? They are also troubling me.......

*sigh~* What should I do?